the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
