Duck Duck Cougar?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
