i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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