Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
