Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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