Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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