I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize