I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
