That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
