nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
