whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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