Jerry, you need to find god
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Your penis caused this!
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