I hate your face
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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