i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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