We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
