omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
