i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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