oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
