I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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