what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
