nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
