I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
