I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
