We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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