peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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