I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
