You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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