apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize