I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
