please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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