the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
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Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw