it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.