ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
