That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
