I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
