ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
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ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize