This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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