I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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