Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
