It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.