you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
