How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
