i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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