I wannas sexs uuuuu
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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