I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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