She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
As shirtless as possible
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
