Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
