im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize