She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
