He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
