Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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