You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
