I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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