Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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