We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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