You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
