Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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