omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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