Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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