i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Randomize
