Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
cat food counts as protein by the way
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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