i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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