I want to walk on stilts...naked
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
