my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
