You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
