It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
