I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
