I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
