Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
